1. |
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[I HATE YOU BUT I HATE MYSELF MORE - LYRICS]
Standing on the outside I can see it won’t be long
Before you rise up from the ashes and proclaim yourself a god
And when you did those things did you feel any guilt at all?
I can see you’re happy with yourself but who will miss you when you’re gone?
{Chorus}
I hate you, but I hate myself more and if the surface world gets interesting I’ll dig up from the core
The pressure is building up today but if you want to we can close our eyes let darkness light our way
Now I’m standing in a hotel room in Washington DC
Looking in the mirror trying to face the person staring back at me
And I know I’m just a sinner making fires to be seen
But in due time I’ll become the monster I was always meant to be
{Chorus}
I hate you, but I hate myself more and if the surface world gets interesting I’ll dig up from the core
The pressure is building up today but if you want to we can close our eyes let darkness light our way
{Bridge 1}
And I’ll fight you till the end just like we did before
Stop trying to pretend this isn’t what you live for
Your hatred poisons me but I will drink it all
And I will be the one that brings you down
{Bridge 2}
Call my name, remind me I’m alive, save me from this hell
Lead me to a place where I can hide
{Chorus}
I hate you, but I hate myself more and if the surface world gets interesting I’ll dig up from the core
The pressure is building up today but if you want to we can close our eyes let darkness light our way
{Last Chorus}
Pretending, that everything's alright is a such a good way to destroy yourself
Break down from the inside
(You) went down when you told yourself that lie
Now tell me does it make you feel good to be killed by your own pride?
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2. |
Spineless
04:32
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SPINELESS - LYRICS
I messed myself up to forget the things I can't ignore
I must admit I've never felt so much hate before
I never thought that I was brave until I met you
You let all your friends take the bullet for you
[Chorus]
You're so disgusting to me
You do anything to save your worthless hide
I don't know how you can be
So spineless
I never took the time to thank you for the things you did
Despite this misery that made me who I am
I hoped you'd fall from your high perch and break your spine
But you don't have one so I guess you'll be fine
I know you're empty and you're weighed down by your sins
A hollow frame of someone that was once a man
We were both tested
I stood my ground, you ran away
Do you feel anything?
Have you no shame?
You'll never tell
They took the bullet for you
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3. |
Peaches And Cream
02:51
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[PEACHES AND CREAM - LYRICS]
I know you feel the same
But I'm too shy to tell you
I've got myself to blame
I wish that I could tell you
I'm waiting for the day that I can make it clear
I'm waiting for the words that you will hear
(Show me how) we could be like a nightmare and a dream
We could be like peaches and cream
(Show me how) you complete me like a river to the sea
Our story's coming to a close
Just like act 2's final scene
I'm really bad with words
I guess I shouldn't tell you
I can't articulate whenever I'm around you
I'm waiting for the day that I can make it clear
I'm choking on my words
Please get me out of here!
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4. |
Suit Up!
02:49
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SUIT UP!-LYRICS
Take this curse away from me like the river flows into the sea
Dress me up in fine silk clothes and show me all that I could be
And all along was it your intention to see me burn and fall?
I remember you in days since passed said “son, you’re gonna have it all”
{Chorus}
But it’s the little things that divide us and whispers that break the silence
Promise me you’ll stay, don’t ever slip away. My friend, we’re coming home tonight
Faces fade with time and rain like the statues that are made of stone
But if they were ever there at all, they’ll be waiting for us when we get home
In flames, you saw my corpse falling, pulled me from the ashes at dawn
And held my head, I’m so hung over! What could possibly go wrong?
{Chorus}
When it’s the little things that divide us and whispers that break the silence
Promise me you’ll stay, don’t ever slip away. My friend, we’re coming home tonight
Shake the darkness off your foot and the sun will reveal its face
When angels sing with heads held high that's when you'll understand
Why they had to do this to you
{Chorus}
Cause it’s the little things that divide us and whispers that break the silence
Promise me you’ll stay, don’t ever slip away. My friend, we’re coming home tonight
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5. |
Dying Star
04:03
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[DYING STAR - LYRICS]
Trapped in the heart of a dying star
It's so cold here
And you tried to save me but please understand
I would have pulled you in
I will never forget what I've done
I cannot turn back
{Chorus}
So we pray
In the heart of a dying star
Let them ignore us, we're gearing up for war
Let the heavens and skies rain down
Wake me when the time comes and we will right as one
Trek down the path and denounce your lies
I am listening
And scream, let your war cry ring out loud and strong
Let them know who's winning
I will never regret what I've done
I refuse to die
Don't fade away on me
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6. |
Anacostia
03:21
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[ANACOSTIA - LYRICS]
This time
I will make time
Land mine
Like a land mine
I will explode under the pressure
Under pressure
Danger
Signs of danger
{Chorus}
Shoot your gun to the sky like the 4th of July
Will you carry your flag? Will you die for your pride?
The American Dream is nothing more than a dream
Nothing more than a tool to justify all the greed
As our cities burn down who will come save us now?
Tell me what have you learned?
Tell me what have you found?
Shoot your gun to the sky like the 4th of July
Liberty is a bold faced lie
Freedom!
Give me freedom!
What is freedom?
You will never beat the system
Cause you think you have an opinion
But no one will listen
No one listens
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7. |
No Rest For The Guilty
04:29
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NO REST FOR THE GUILTY - LYRICS
These days when I hear your name I remember how it began when we were just 14
But now I see your life is stuck on repeat and it’s a never ending cycle of despair and defeat
You said I should keep composed, that I should bottle all the anger up and not let it show
And God knows that I have tried, but it’s so hard to keep your cool while being buried alive
[Chorus]
Don’t tell me to rest in peace, I’m ready to bare my teeth, I’m getting back on my feet!
This isn’t the end so don’t bury my bones just yet or lay my soul to rest
I’ll show you that I’m not dead! This isn’t the end of me
You thought that I was done cause you made sure my back was turned before you fired the gun
And I’ve travelled far and wide all just to shove it in your face again that I’m still alive
You know there ain’t no rest for the guilty
Don’t tell me that I’m not real, my soul was not yours to steal, just get me behind that wheel! There ain’t no rest for the guilty
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8. |
Burnt Out
03:36
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Hell bent on self destruction
Flying too close to the sun
The wax melts
Now you understand that you're about to crash land
{Chorus}
Did you think that the world would be better without you?
Or did you sink?
Hoping for the water to drown you
So burnt out
And feeling like no one understands you
Just don't look down cause Jesus isn't coming to save you
You have to save yourself
Disaster
Running out of time
It's not too late to hit rewind
Turn back the clock and change your mind
Decide to take a chance on life
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9. |
Rust
03:09
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RUST – LYRICS
[Verse 1]
Listen up, there’s no need to fear
It’s perfectly OK to be weird as long as you’re beautiful
You can be whatever you like
You can reach the highest heights as long as you’re beautiful
[Chorus]
Show me where to go from here
Show me how to disappear so I don’t have to feel this hate
Show me how to love myself
Or put my hate in someone else so I don’t have to feel this way
[Verse 2]
Writhing in the depths of despair
No one’s even gonna care unless you’re beautiful
But if you’ve got the money to pay
They’ve got a million ways to make you beautiful
[Chorus]
[Interlude]
[Chorus]
[Outro]
I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore
Is it apathy or sadness?
Misery or pride?
Let me go! x7
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10. |
Xiaolin Punk
02:24
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Do you know violence when you’re bleeding on the ground?
I hear the sirens and I know it’s going down
I’ve seen my fair share while I’ve been living in this town
But what can I do? I’m just as scared as you!
No explanation as to what I’ve come here for
I’m thin like Knopfler and I sound like “Guitar George”
It won’t be long before I’m bleeding on the floor
Got to take it slow now, steady as she goes
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11. |
Vagabond Hymn
04:16
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VAGABOND HYMN - LYRICS
In this world, one thing is for sure. In the end we become what we fear
There is one destination for all, despite all our efforts, eventually we have to fall
I know now that life is a stage, everyone has their own part to play
Some get encores and some fade away, but ashes to ashes, there’s no coming back from the grave
Safe or free: the choice is yours to make
Wandering free, I have no home, take it with me wherever I go
I will fight for a world that is fair, but why is it that there can never be peace without war?
Take what’s left, throw it to the fire, the machine is a compulsive liar
For the glory of this dead empire, the books rewrite history to make the fiction come alive
The sirens are deafening but soon they will mourn the blood we will spill at the break of the dawn
Our soldiers lay dormant, asleep in their tombs, but soon they will roar as they march to their doom!
So round up the masses and gather the crowds, the long wait is over and the time is now
Our paths will all converge in this time and space, the night will collapse and give birth to the day
So tear down the empires and break the food chains, we may look quite different but we are the same
Burning the past to forget and forgive, one day we will die but tonight we live!
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12. |
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LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF - LYRICS
I’m aware that you don’t know me
But this is you at age 23
I remember all the days of feeling numb
Looking up from the bottom
You refuse to eat but you don’t know why
It’s because you want to die
And you don’t know if you’re trying to hold on
Or just disappear completely
And I know that you’re not well and the future looks like hell
And happiness seems completely out of reach
But I promise you’ll be fine and the pain will fade with time
But the people that I’ve left behind still haunt me
So To whom it may concern: I’m not about to break
Cause each and every day I will make mistakes
And I know that I’ve done wrong but it’s all behind me now
I’m sorry that I let you down
To whom it may concern
Despite how far I’ve come; the distance I have roamed
I’m still not who I want to be
I know you’re tired and think no one understands
But just take ten more steps to me and you’re home
To whom it may concern: I’m not about to break
Cause each and every day I will make mistakes
And I know that I’ve done wrong but it’s all behind me now
I promise that I’ll make you proud
To whom it may concern
To whom it may concern
I’m aware that you don’t know me
But this is you at age 23
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13. |
Afterthought
03:12
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[AFTERTHOUGHT - LYRICS]
I thought about you today
Y'know it's been a long time
I still have you on Facebook and it says you're doing fine
And I couldn't really talk to you
It's been way too long
The only thing I really knew how to do was to write you a song
And I know you won't hear me no matter how I scream
But I'm gonna do it anyway, you can't stop me!
Sometimes I wonder if you think about me too
You probably don't but I just wanted to know
See, I'm a lot better (though I still talk to myself)
And I'm still a little broken
I just learned to hide it well
And I don't drink anymore
I say what I think
It gets me into trouble
Cause I don't think before I speak
I don't give a shit
And I don't want this to bring you down
Wait, yes I do!
I want you to be miserable
So you can see how I feel
And I know that you don't feel bad
I know you don't care
And I know you don't remember me
But that's OK
Cause I no longer wanna climb up to the top of the nearest tall building and survey the drop and close my eyes and throw myself off
And on my way down I might suffer a heart attack and die
So when I paint the pavement with my guts...at least I made you look
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A Ghost Named AJ Oxford, UK
I no longer make music under this name but my current projects can be found here
stardriveruk.bandcamp.com [So Long, Space Girl]
and here
ajwills.bandcamp.com/releases [Solo Project]
... more
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